Bah! Humbug! How to have a miserable Christmas.

"Humbug" - something designed to deceive and mislead.
- nonsense or drivel.
- an attitude or spirit of pretense and deception.
- a willfully false, deceptive, or insincere statement or person.

Now I'm hoping this title will catch the attention of some, those especially who know they can contribute to the quality of Christmas, by making it a wonderful memory or an emotional disaster. After extensive research, and with credit to Bobby Scott from Perimeter School and his sources, here is my list including my own personal issues.

1. FOCUS ENTIRELY ON YOURSELF. Let your mind ruminate on what you "need", want, or just lust for, joyously focusing only on those gifts addressed to YOU, rather than your gifts to others. After all, it's just all about "what I got" anyway isn't it? If you do bother (and remember it is a pain to fight the crowd at the mall) to give a somewhat nice gift to someone else be certain to brag to everyone and remind them of just how fantastic YOU are for doing that.

2. JUDGE ALL THE GIFTS YOU RECEIVE. Evaluate everything on how much it cost, if it was better than what you gave the other person, if the giver really listened to you and understood what it was you wanted, and the total number of gifts you received compared with how many others (family members or friends) received. Make it a contest!! Just always remember that nobody but YOU can win because it is YOUR contest and YOU set the rules, which you can change if needed.

3. ENGAGE IN HALF-HEARTED RITUALS. After all haven't we sung those same Christmas songs a million times before? Visited those same friends/family members before? Attended those same parties before? Let's just do the expected things quickly and then get out as soon as possible. We can always go home and watch TV or just have a quiet drink. Let the rest of the family go to Christmas Eve Church Service without you, they always tell that same story anyway.

4. DWELL ON ALL YOUR PAST HURTS. Remember last Christmas how unappreciated you were? Stew about how mean/stupid/etc your friends, relatives, or neighbors have been and how you can never forget what they did to you! How long ago was that anyway? Hold on to that grudge, enjoy it, and wait for them to come humble themselves before you before you ever consider thinking about forgiving them. Make them suffer, hurting you, intentionally or not, was just clearly wrong.

5. REHASH OLD ARGUMENTS AND PUSH KNOWN HOT BUTTONS. This is a biggie!! Purposely or intentionally bring up those issues that you know will rile up your friends or family members. Remind them that "THEIR" favorite football team really stinks this year, that "Their" candidate lost, or that they "NEVER" do the things you request and "ALWAYS" do things to irritate you. Plus, will they ever stop giving you that "some old type of present" every single Christmas? They should KNOW you wanted that new IPAD no matter what it costs.

6. REFUSE ALL OFFERS OF HELP AND PLAY THE MARTYR CARD. Since others just can't do things the way YOU know it should be done, just do everything yourself. I mean, after all, YOU shouldn't have to ASK them to help you anyway, they should know and see what needs to be done. Besides, if nobody helps you, then you have an excuse to resent them and feel sorry for yourself. (See # 1 & # 4 above). The "JOY" of being a servant and martyr should be all yours anyway, so why share it with others. Many women understand this much more than men so we guys need to make a special effort on this one.

7. MAKE A HOLIDAY CHECKLIST AND COMPLETE IT PERFECTLY. The only way to really enjoy the holidays is to get YOUR list done on time, in the proper way, and on the planned schedule. Never compromise period! Flexibility to just sit and enjoy your family or friends is a total waste of time anyway. Unless they want to praise you or talk about how great you are why bother! Who will get all credit for getting that work done if you let them help anyway?

8. NEVER TAKE TIME FOR CHARITY WORK. Why spread any possible cheer in any direction other than towards yourself? Those homeless folks could never ever repay anything you do for them so why bother? Besides, if they would be more like you they wouldn't need the help.

9. ONLY SEND CARDS OR GIFTS TO THOSE WHO ARE IN A POSITION TO HELP YOU. If someone can't do more for you than you can for them what is the purpose anyway? Again keep #1, #2, & # 3 above in the top of your mind. If it isn't about you, who cares?

10. REMEMBER BEING MISERABLE IS EASIER THAN HAVING A JOYFUL CHRISTMAS. Why not just give in and allow your inner self to have fun and remain self-centered. After all, it's much easier and more fun than the alternative. Having a Peace filled and Joyful Christmas isn't all that it's cracked up to be anyway. Finally, remember the battles and problems you will face the day after Christmas fighting everyone else back at the mall for those left-over bargains and returning that junk others gave you!!

So have a miserable Christmas and a very unhappy Holiday season. Smiles and laughter are highly overrated anyway!!

Steve

Gone Flying

Yesterday I took a friend up for a flight and the infamous $100 hamburger. Only after we were up about 3,000 feet did he tell me that this was his FIRST flight in a small airplane. I usually try to find that out before I take someone up, believe me it does make a difference in how you do things when you have a "first timer" on board.
What I experienced yesterday was a wonderful time that I had almost forgotten myself, that thrill of breaking free of gravity and solid ground and flying like the birds do. Watching my friend taking in everything for the first time that I have started to take for granted. I was able to see thru his eyes the sights that have become so commonplace to me and experience again the thrill that started me flying years ago. Looking down on familiar places but from a totally new angle really amazes folks - seeing more and different colors from above the haze line, watching smoke rise with the wind and actually feeling that wind as it moves the airplane. All wonderful feelings that unfortunately only a small few folks get to experience in life. Many of my pilot friends have told me they long ago forgot those thrilling adventures and now just look upon flying as another method of getting somewhere fast. I hope that never happens to me - I love the flight - the trip is, to me, almost more fun than getting to the destination. In fact, sometimes when I get to my destination I will intentionally veer away just to spend a few more moments up in the sky experiencing that freedom that folks tied to the ground just don't realize.
A short 20 minute flight to the North Georgia Mountain region, then lunch with good friends, and another short flight back to Atlanta doesn't take too much time, but it certainly removes years from my life as I get to feel like a child again for a short amount of time. When I reflect and remember how great it is I am always reminded of taking a young boy up for a flight once. He was in the back seat, with headsets on his small head, just talking away but I couldn't quite hear or understand what he was saying. When I got his attention and repeated my question he told me he was just talking with his dad who had died the year before and this boy knew that he was much closer to heaven so he was having a discussion about what he missed about his dad. I had trouble finishing that flight - my eyesight seemed to develop a very wet blurry view - but believe me I did extend that flight as long as possible, for all 3 of us.
Remember to live life fully each and every day. Everyday is a gift, that is why it is called the "Present."